Inertia and the Teenage Boy

"Well if you ever plan to motor west
Travel my way, take the highway that’s the best
Get your kicks on route 66..."

My son is fourteen years old, which you would never guess by looking at the 6'1", lanky teen. He'll start driver's training soon, so I figured now would be the time for him to get behind the wheel and practice on something other than a go-cart. It was sunny, we were headed to the grocery store, and I tossed him the keys. I figured he could drive out through the neighborhood and I would drive from there - how many years could I age in a few short miles, anyway?

I have his dad's truck while he's in Iraq, which seemed even better from my perspective. The only trouble is it's a MONSTER Dodge truck with one of those hemi engines...not that it competes in the monster truck showdowns or anything, but it does require 3 steps for parking: pull in, back out, straighten and pull back in. It's a little intimidating sometimes - I've scraped the side mirror twice while pulling next to the ATM machine at the bank, but I figured he'd be fine, as long as he drove in the middle of the street.

He hopped in the driver's seat and buckled in, so I told him the basics about Park, Reverse and Drive, how to hold his hands on 10:00 and 2:00 on the steering wheel, and which pedal is which...I suggested taking his foot off the brake and coasting first to see how it steers, then gradually pushing down the accelerator. He must not have understood the word "gradually", as he stomped on the pedal and we went flying forward. He did, however, remember where the brake was located because he used his other foot and stomped on THAT pedal immediately afterwards! That Dodge apparently goes 0 to 60 to 0 in 5 seconds

He looked over at me with this endearing little smirk on his face and said, "Guess I'll have to practice getting the right angle with my foot."

You think?

*This photo should be ample punishment.



All Things Must Pass

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be George Harrison...not his wife, his manager or psycho fan club president, but the man himself . In the bylaws of reincarnation, there was a way we could both share the talented body and sensitive mind of the youngest, quietest Beatle.
  • For 24 years now, I have celebrated George Harrison's birthday every February 25th. 
  • I had two cats, George and Ringo, when I was a teen.
  • The Beatles song Long, Long, Long is my earliest musical memory.
  • I forged his signature perfectly and did so on all my parental permission slips in high school.
  • I taped and watched his interview on VHI 2 or 3...or 47 times (an interesting sidenote: Ravi Shankar's daughter is Norah Jones).
  • When he died, in 2001, I didn't leave my house for 3 days. I mourned the loss of this talented songwriter...a man whose voice could make me cry...a man who would rather garden and jam with his friends...a man whose wife left him for his best friend (Eric Clapton) and they STAYED friends!
  • His ashes may be in the Ganges River...and Kasey Kasum isn't around, but I have a long distance dedication: play Something, Here Comes the Sun, While My guitar Gently Weeps, My Sweet Lord...and absorb some GEORGE

P.S. If you're curious, the Beatles song Long, Long, Long will fit 23 times in a row on a cd-r.


So THAT explains it...


You can't see it, but the produce drawer is FILLED with cheese (shredded, colbyjack, munster, etc), the butter section has various bottles of nailpolish and the Guinness is hidden next to the Bud Light.

And the reason I have an EX-husband? Seems the idiot didn't know labels all face FRONT, sheesh

The big question of the day: who snuck that non-alcoholic diet pepsi in there?