Velocity = Distance/Time

If, by "speed dating", you mean hanging out with ex-boyfriend Crazy Dan on Saturday night, then promptly ignoring him Sunday when he went back to his clingy, pestering, annoying self full of round the clock email, then, yes, I've speed-dated. Note to self: drinking alone isn't that tragic.

A rather momentous weekend, as I also broke my self-imposed age barrier and had dinner with a FIFTY year old. Yes, fifty. It's not a huge age difference, but since I'm still 28 in my mind, I wonder what he's doing with such a younger woman. Pervert.


Baby Got Back (End Damage)

I must have a mesmerizing rear end, or much better brakes combined with cat-like reflexes, since I've had two separate collisions (that were not my fault) in recent years. What I assumed to be superficial paint damage is estimated at around $800, requiring super high gloss, a new bumper and 3-5 days to repair at the dealer. In Montgomery. Geez. That's not inconvenient.

Maybe I should've stuck to driving 2-1/2 ton trucks?

Appreciate our veterans today and every day!


Hey, good lookin', what'cha got cookin'...

You can probably tell a lot about someone by their grocery lists. Frankly, I'm a little concerned about mine:
  • beer
  • wine
  • mop head
  • cat food
  • toilet paper

My last job came through with a check for my accumulated 4 WEEKS of vacation pay in the nick of time, fortunately, so I was able to pay for groceries without auctioning off a kidney on ebay or taking in a roommate while waiting for the new position payroll to come through. I believe, at this moment, my glass is half full. Duh. I have beer and wine.



A 24" Dell flatscreen computer monitor at work. That's how much I've been upgraded with my new position (I feel like I'm hanging out at the drive-in, minus the pickup truck, lowered tailgate and salty snacks).

Unfortunately, it's accompanied by some dual-core, 2 hard drive, automatic backing up, louder-than-a-jet-plane-landing CPU, and the monitor had to be sent back because it was defective. Outstanding news o' the day: our installation hasn't switched to Vista!



If one more of my neighbors plants a McCain/Palin sign in his yard, I might possibly stomp on the accelerator, jump the curb, and plow into it. It could happen.

End signage!


51% Responsible

“I was so much older then. I'm younger than that now.”

- Bob Dylan

My sister Tiffany emailed the other night to get my address in order to mail a check (that our dad had sent) for her auto registration, over a month late (September), and from the wrong state (Colorado). Minor details.
By now, you are hopped up on some barbituates and sleeping pills (Elvis cocktail, anyone?) so chances are you will (A) sleep walk to your computer with a pop tart in hand and read this e-mail or (B) read it at 4:00 when you awake from your drug-enhanced slumber.
She may be insightful and hilarious, but I'm still more responsible...