The Grass is Always Greener...?

I would call myself a minimalist when it comes to yard work, preferring to cut the weeds every couple of weeks, or when I feel the neighbors glaring at me as I drive past their homes.

Alas, I started dating RB in December, during a particularly rainy season when my front porch almost washed down the short slope to the street.

He jumped in with both feet, getting the cement truck, Bobcat, and a truckload of sand. Visions of yard grandeur were already dancing in his head.

Oh, sure, it seemed innocent enough when he applied fertilizer, then programmed the sprinklers. I vaguely remember conversations of centipede and bermuda, as he spread grass seed, some sod, then weed killer for good measure. He'd spend one day a week mowing, weed eating, edging, and blowing debris. Yeah, it looks great, sweetie.

Now, however, that we're not together, I have to pull out that lawn mower, and traverse this lush green paradise as the temperature hits 102°F. Bonus? The fact that I gained 20 pounds when we were together (eating out, BBQ, grey goose) means I have even more sweaty bulk to haul around.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but it's only June. Next year's forecast is calling for weeds.


daffodil mouse said...

egads! that porch is scary!!

we live in a $800k condo and we're the only sharecroppers on the block with our container garden of tomatoes, squash, corn and peppers. On the plus side, we'll be able to make the condo fees this month when we have freee lettuce and peppers to eat!

I think Zeus is an awesome name for new kitty.

ColleenQ said...

Yikes - your life has been so hectic! I tried to leave a comment on your space, but "Comments aren't enabled for this item"...?

Stephen said...

Dear Colleen, Thank you for visiting the Painting Studio and for your comments though I nearly lost a mouthfull of coffee through my nose as I was reading. It has been a good long time. Thank you for leading me here and as ever be well

flooz said...

Oh, I hope that is a "before" picture. Your lovely porch looks like it may collapse.

Ah, men WILL do that, though. Is it akin to leaving their stamp?

My last left me with a huge veggie garden full of things I don't like to eat OR watch the bugs eat. And being sensible enough to know the eventual outcome of our relationship, I specifically told him don't leave me a mess to clean up after you go. He did just that. I covered the space with weed-control fabric, then gravel, and then pots of pretty things.

But he still made sure he left himself here, but not in a good way.

When you're not mowing, please write more--you're way too economical with the words, girl.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Three suggestions:

1) hire neighborhood boy to cut awful grass;
2) Regrettable jogging and other assorted weight bearing exercise;
3) dating poorer and lazier men.

ColleenQ said...

Stephen: I agree - it's been WAY too long!

Flooz: yes, that's the "before". Is it like peeing on their territory, you think? Actually, I have no complaints (other than the additional work) - he did so much to improve my surroundings that I'm forced to see his touch in every room...

Laoch: 1. I'm too cheap/broke
2. I've lost 10 via sweat this weekend
3. yes, I've tried that...and now I'm too spoiled to ever go back! :)

Ramblingon said...

I was going to say that too, about peeing as marking! Dang. beat me to it.

Babe said...

Here's a quick fix. Mow that grass at the hottest part of the day =
2 bonuses... loose weight and kill the grass at the same time!
Glad you're back!