Open wide for absolution

[preface: I'm drinking...no, this isn't necessarily a DRUNK BLOG entry...just more honest than usual? More real emotion, perhaps. Or maybe just beer emotion. Who knows - get off my ass, already. I want accolades for my typing, at the very least].

Dr. L: Did you pre-medicate?
Me: Yep.
Dr. L: Do you need more antibiotics? I'll leave another script with the receptionist for you.
Me: Mm hm. That'd be great.
Dr. L: My wife has an MVP, too...I take it very seriously. Long limbs and a slender build, just like you.
Me: No kidding.

Most people make a mad dash for the dental floss twice a year for their 6-month dental checkup. I lie to my dentist and say my goodbyes.

I have a mitral valve prolapse, which is a relatively common heart condition in which the valve doesn't close properly, plus electrical problems exaccerbated by years of dexatrim (and every other diet pill on the market) so I'm supposed to take antibiotics before dental work. Actually, not all the diet pills have been on the market - I illegally purchased my obese cousin's Redux prescription when I weighed all of 112 lbs (a definition for wacko means I can tell you my weight during any given month/year for the past 20 years). He didn't have the money to fill the prescription...fortunately I only had enough to fill it for two months.

For me, it's my chance to live on the edge...bungee jumping with sparkling, fluoridated teeth. It's not that I have anything against life...I just wonder: is this IT? So I sit and wait, wondering if this will be the time some plaque settles in my heart and kills me.

[post script: if I had a wicked sense of humour, this would be my last entry...]

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