Every morning, including weekends, I stop by my old place of employment to feed the feral cats before going into my new office. On Saturday, when I tried to get in, I noticed my key was missing. Not wasting one impulsive second, I called my ex-boss.
Me, indignant and slightly foamy: What? You couldn't just ask for my key back? You had to be sneaky and take it behind my back? You don't trust me enough to have access...
Me: I know I wasn't supposed to have it, and that's not the point...the cats should suffer because I no longer work there?
Him: What key?
Me: MY key!
Him: I thought your key broke?
Me: I said it broke, thinking you understood, so I could keep it in order to let myself in during the weekends to feed the cats, but someone took it off my ring last week!
Him: Of course I trust you and would never take your key. It bothers me that someone else did, and didn't turn it in to me, since I'm responsible for the warehouse, but I'll get to the bottom of this and give you another one, don't worry.
Me: Okay, fine. Thanks.
It has occured to me that the more you act like a raving lunatic, the more people do what you want.