My son always uses my first name when he's irrate or pissed off, which is about 93% of the time, as far as I can figure.
"Colleen," he said two weeks ago, on the phone, "your house is trashed and everything is gone."
"What? WHAT?! Don't touch anything - I'll be right there."
I geared up for a mini-tirade after I dialed 9-1-1 and the operator asked for my husband's name. "Oh, right," I thought, "I'm some helpless, fair maiden without the means to support myself or buy my OWN house in this hillbilly, backwoods...er, my son Patrick probably already called in, didn't he?"
Some good news?
1. Three eighteen year old boys were arrested the other day, hopefully putting an end to our small town crime spree, and I can almost fall asleep without worrying that they'll come back for the other half of the miter saw they left behind.
2. Our dog's probabation period is almost up. Did she offer to hold the door open for them?
3. Cleaning a clutter/game/electronic-free home takes hardly any time at all. Who needs a yard sale?
4. My insurance company reimbursed the full cost of my laptops, not what they would be worth today, and I can once again surf my favorite internet watering holes. Latest curse word, however: Vista (as in "damn Vista!").
5. The $14.70 I claimed for the stolen case of bud light? They reimbursed that, and I upgraded to Corona.