The Theory Debunker is IN

24 years driving. 13 speeding tickets.
[Is that as bad as it sounds? Oy]

As a self-proclaimed speeding expert, I've had this theory: if you overpay your speeding ticket by $1, the books never get closed because the city clerk will never send a rebate check for the difference, so your insurance company never finds out. Ignorance is bliss, you know, and I delusionally hoped my rates wouldn't reflect my "I need to see your license and registration, ma'am" status.

Perfect in theory, not-so-perfect in reality.

After my most recent "68 in a 55" (on New Year's DAY! Apparently, I need a designated driver to get places while I'm sober), I procrastinated* too long and had to make the payment in person.

*which comes first: the procrastinator or the speeder?

I handed the city clerk a money order for $121, so she attempted to give me $1 change. I said, "Oh, no, that's a tip. I don't want it."

We argued back and forth for a while, and as I was pocketing the change (those city clerks are badasses, I tell ya'), I asked her about my theory. She informed me that if I had mailed in too much money, they simply would have raised the fine to the amount sent, so the ticket would be closed.

What's a poor lead foot to do?


Darren said...

You just need to become a cop or state trooper so you can pass whoever you want and always be slighlty over the speed limit.

Or just bust your Speedometer so it always reads faster and fool yourself that you are speeding.

Wiz's Wench said...

oooooh, and those sparkly red and blue lights!!! I vote for Darren's plan!!

the mouse

"vglndj"--does my secret code word make anybody else think of 'vaginal discharge'?? ewwwww

Anonymous said...

Have a lump of wood bonded to the bottom of the peddle on the right.

I think I dodged a bullet for doing over 100 on a motorway just before Christmas past a speed camera. That's an automatic ban here.

stephen said...

Great theory, too bad it didn't seem to work with this civil servent twit. She totally has to sense of humor. It would seem to me with your speeding history that you'd know the in's and out's of the system. Shit, then they go and change the rules on you. That sucks!!!

Have a great day!!! :)

stephen said...

Never give those money grubbing people any more money than you need to.

You still crack me up - If I'm late somewhere I'm calling your ass to come get me so I'll know I'll get there lickey split. :)

You've been quiet, are you alright?

Quindigo said...

Darren: I've got a NEW PLAN! If I can find a police officer uniform to wear for my driver's license photo, the arresting officers will assume I'm law enforcement...YES!

WW: I'm still looking for a veterinarian to save the big bucks...

Monty: did they build an autobahn near you? Over 100? What the hell?!

Stephen: other than working every day for the past 2 weeks, I'm fine - thanks...