November Spawned a Monster

Apparently, my maximum tolerance for a man is three months - it's officially over with Christian (though I should say "unofficially" because he's been waiting for ME to call HIM and I have no intention of breaking the silence with a dumping). There were no major problems - just a series of cumulative pet peeves and I'd rather be stoned to death with popcorn than deal with them another day:

  • I have no problem dating a poor (monetary-challenged) man, but a tightwad, cheap boyfriend who makes more than I do, and hasn't taken me out in three months, but still manages to come over and drink all my beer? Thanks, but no.

  • This might be irrational, but I don't like people who sleep more than 6 hours/night.

  • He doesn't believe in evolution, fossils, or carbon dating. Seriously. Gravity is also a theory, and I may not understand the complexities of it, but that doesn't mean I won't land on the floor if my drunken self falls off a bar stool.

  • He'd complain about my Netflix movie choices. She who pays, chooses!

  • Chewing tobacco. Just...ew!

  • How endearing that he has no cell phone or internet? Nope. He's too cheap and was hoping I could add him to my family plan.

  • He watches competitive fishing shows. Day and night.
  • Tell me, again, about all the fish in the sea??


    Anonymous said...

    Cheap bastard. Scrawl his phone number on a couple of salubrious toilet stall walls. In fact do it everywhere you go for the next three months with catchy tag lines alongside.

    I think you could have picked someone just a smidgen more compatible, don't you? Answer when you've spat your baccy out.

    Slick said...

    He hasn't taken you out in 6 months??

    Yeah, cut the rope....

    And the chewing 'baca? Gotta go.

    Yes, there are waaaaay more fish in the sea.

    Slick said...

    Ok, well...3 months. That's still kind of record. I'm sure.

    Quindigo said...

    Monty: I'm beginning to wonder if there's ANYONE compatible with me.

    Slick: seriously, I'd rather date a smoker than look at bottles of black spit!

    stephen said...

    Are you serious? This has to be joke right! All that stuff rolled into one person - well it sends a shiver up my spine and all I can say is I hope he had a nice pecker to put up with all that pesky crap. Sounds like he needs a mother instead of a girlfriend!

    You deserve SO MUCH MORE!!! :)

    Quindigo said...

    Stephen: I'll be switching teams any day now... ;)

    Anonymous said...

    Time for some fishing!

    junquedujour said...

    I have a master angler award for a 56 pound spoonbill. So, whaddaya say, wanna go to the Bass Pro Shop with me?

    Bring your credit card ...