"It's the same with your dreams and nightmares. You have to feed them to keep them alive."
~ John Nash
I was required to see a therapist in 2007, so I pulled out his old letterhead* to get his phone number and tried to make an appointment. Unfortunately, waiting over a year between visits means you have to go through the new patient referral process again, which takes a few weeks. Note to self: plan the next meltdown a month in advance.
*after two visits, when he declared I was too smart for therapy (ha! who's the dumbass now?), I asked him to write a note for Patrick, who was dubious at best, that I was fine.
My dad suggested swapping out obsessions, telling me that food and exercise had always been successful for him. I'm wondering if he meant the
thought of an exercise obsession, though, since it occurs to me I've never actually seen him work out. It matters not. I dragged this flabby ass to the gym today, and now I'm too tired to do much of anything else. Bravo.
[Love Remains the Same - Gavin Rossdale]
"It's the same with your dreams and nightmares. You have to feed them to keep them alive." 
I thought I had passed the nadir of my recent emotional downward spiral, but that was only wishful thinking. I ended up leaving work at noon, mostly because it was too difficult to concentrate with mascara running down my face and burning my eyes. The worst? When someone would ask what was wrong.