Modus Operandi

I suspected there was a Blogger curse on my relationships, since they kept failing shortly after I'd write about them. James was supposed to come over last night, but blew me off instead and posted his profile back on "our" dating site. I also found out that one of the other women he's seeing is the 48 year old Garrison Commander of our post! I refuse to call him or see him again.

7 things I couldn't stand about him, anyway:

1. he continued to pursue other women but insisted he couldn't trust me

2. he has a motorcycle, and his car has been having electrical difficulties. I let him borrow mine last week when I was in Mississippi on business - and he put over 150 miles on it. In two days?!

3. he told me I looked like a librarian/school marm. I also started working out and lost eight pounds since meeting him. Couldn't he have given me an "atta girl" or at least noticed?

4. he remembers everything. Even when drinking. 'Nuff said.

5. I don't claim to be particularly funny or interesting, but he didn't "get" me or find me amusing in the least. I asked if he was planning my assassination when he asked about medication I was taking. "That's what I mean," he said. "You're just so fucking weird and out there."

6. we never emailed. He found my thought processes too strange (see above). I no longer find his misuse of apostrophes or atrocious spelling endearing.

7. he smokes*

*okay, technically, this is a turn on. I'm probably the only non-smoker who loves those Marlboro men...it's comforting. Like curling up next to a campfire. Sparks included.

Why, then, can't I get him out of my head?


Laoch of Chicago said...

When you find yourself attracted to people who treat you indifferently or even unkindly it usually means that you are going through a period where you are struggling with your self esteem. Almost everyone struggles with this at times but the truth is generally that those people who appear to have things together often do not and most people are constantly in one kind of conflict or another.

Personally, after a long time wherein I dated vicious but "interesting" or particularly striking women I eventually gave myself permission to only date people who were nice to me, creating a rule for myself that I would not tolerate unkind behavior. At first I definitely missed the drama, but eventually it gave me a kind of clarity. I was upfront with people about my intentions and quick to terminate relationships where people were abusing or dumping on me. After a time I found that generally I had less people about but the ones who were there were much nicer so I was happier.

Good wishes to you.

LQ said...

3. You are hot. GORGEOUS, in fact. Atta girl.

5. You are actually funny AND interesting. Don't waste your time with people who aren't. I think being "fucking weird and out there" should be a compliment.

6. Atrocious spelling = major turn-off.

Haphazardkat said...

Well hell. I had a comment all prepared in my head but after reading Loachies and LQ's comments? They stole everything I would have said to you.

Oh, I would add--the librarian look is rockin' hot. And...one of the reasons I haunt your blog (even when you don't blog for a year-cough-hint-cough) is your hilarious sense of humor and wackiness!

Here is my list:

1. You are way too intelligent for the Marlboro (pre-cancer) man.

2. He knows this which is why it appears he took every opportunity to fault you.

3. The key ingredient of cheaters is their need to run from themselves and anyone who really gets to know what a loser they are.

4. You are awesome and are so worth more then this loser. Glad you dumped him ;)

Haphazardkat said...

Ok. One more thing. The "can't get him outta your head" thing? Is just the withdrawal thing like eating a huge bag of chocolate, regretting it but then having sugar cravings from hell for the next week.

ColleenQ said...

You're all so wise...I wish I could save some brain space for your wisdom and great comments.

Laoch: I know it's a self esteem issue, but just can't figure out how to change it. I wish it was something I could just buy - I'd gladly go further into debt to have some.

LQ: You're right, actually: "you're so fucking weird and out there" should be said as a compliment, and "you're boring and mainstream" is the snide remark instead!

HK: I would imagine that reading someone's blog is wayyyy easier than living within drive by distance, and getting obsessive phone calls from said person. I thank you, though, and will become the hottest pseudo-librarian ever, and maybe acquire some bulimia to get this marlboro man out of my head!

DavidShag said...

If someone doesn't 'get' you, it is a lost cause. I have had this happen and it only gets worse. Because no matter how you try to do otherwise, the 'real you' (which is pretty terrific as far as I can see) will sneak out at the worst possible times. I hate folks who have no sense of fun. Also, I would never date anyone I couldn't trust - which means your man had some agenda. And if someone says he can't trust you (without any cause), HE is NEVER to be trusted. I kind of like the idea of someone LIKING a smoker. A new one on me!

ColleenQ said...

Exactly, David: 3 months without 'getting' me and can't be trusted? I'm psyched to be able to cut my losses after a relatively short amount of time. (it still hurts, though, which makes me wonder what type of glutton for punishment I am, exactly).

And if the Gov't doesn't stop putting taxes on cigarettes and banning smoking everywhere we go, I'm gonna be hard-pressed to find a Marlboro Man ('cause dip? EWWWWW! Not an option).