Tying the NOT!

I met Steve when my sister Tiffany invited me up to a redneck bar in Troy, where she lives, for St. Patrick's green beer. He's a youngish fifty year old, who danced and bought plenty of rounds of green pucker and melon shots (how did we imagine these were tasty?) for us. Needless to say, he ended up with my phone number. I should probably just start handing out business cards to strange men.

When we went out again this past weekend, I was telling him about Tiffany's new job as a bartender at the country club, so he suggested we go there for dinner. He's a member, so we sat with the mayor, while Tiffany waited on us. Unfortunately, Steve's a Miller beer distributor, and I can't help but think I'm drinking swamp water off a sweaty teenager* when I drink Miller products.

*When I was sixteen, my friends drilled a hole in the bottom of a can of Miller Lite, drained it, then replaced the beer with water from the river. They sealed the hole with a bead of adhesive, so that the container still went "pffft" when I pulled the top, then took a giant swig. This was obviously traumatic.

On Saturday, Steve proposed to me, but I had to decline the offer since I had nothing to wear. I've come to the conclusion that older men must be desperate - afraid of dying alone with no one to take off their boots.


Anonymous said...

Perhaps he's broke and half your debt is less than half of his.

Warning, warning, Will Robinson! Change your phone number, move house, adopt a new name, have Tiff do likewise. If he still finds you insist you're a secret carpet muncher.

Have you tries just randomly writing your number on $20 bills?

Darren said...

I still kinda think that there must be just a little something else that you are not disclosing that attracts older or married men to you.

So tell us, do you roll around in some special pheromone before heading out?

Kinda agree with BBB, maybe change the number etc. Who know what kind of guy will call you...

Wiz's Wench said...

It's not just Indie...older men/married men ARE more desperate. Hell,I even snag one every now and then..and my bait is waaaaaaaaay past its expiration date!

You coulda had a double wedding wiff me on halloween...sure ya don't wanna reconsider???

junquedujour said...

damn! you are such a bitch sometimes - you give your number to complete strangers that only want you take their boots off and drink their chosen brand of barley and hops, but yet me, one of the faithful following tag-alongs through blogland, cannot even get a phone number.

kidding darlin, I really don't have anything verbal to say anyway other than: 'I have to go now cuz I have to go pee and I won't pee and talk to people on the phone at the same time.'

Darren said...

That peeing and talking on the phone kinda wierds me out too. The sudden change in the way the person sounds due to bathroom acoustics and then the even more shocking "Whoosh" of the toilet. Just ask me to hold for a minute please.

Colleen said...

Monty: perhaps he never met anyone who could outdrink him? ;)

Darren: one of life's greatest mysteries, I tell ya'!

WW: Double wedding on Halloween? And miss all that candy - no way!

Brenda: And the funny part is I'll go days without answering my phone! (I have peed and commented on your blog simultaneously - sorry!) ;)

Darren: My bladder waits for no one... ;)